Why do couple problems increase on vacation?
Let’s look at the reasons why the vacation period can bring up related problems.
In certain couple profiles, the vacation period goes hand in hand with new sources of potential conflicts. Fortunately, knowing in advance these possible psychological factors capable of destabilizing a relationship is useful to prevent these problems, because they help to act on time and, if necessary, seek professional help in couples therapy.
So, in this article, you will find a summary of the causes of why couple problems increase on vacation.
Why can vacations contribute to the appearance of relationship problems?
There are several studies that indicate the existence of a curious phenomenon: just after the July and August vacation period, the number of divorces rises significantly, at least in Western countries.
Of course, it does not seem that vacations in themselves pose a problem for courtships and marriages, an obstacle when it comes to enjoying life as a couple. After all, there is no one way to experience vacation days, and it would be hasty to assume that everyone involved in romantic love relationships experiences them the same way.
Rather, what happens is that the holidays act as a catalyst for the relationship problems that were already latent, accelerating the deterioration of that bond. Let’s see in more detail how this happens.
1. The beginning of the holidays enhances impulsiveness
It has been seen that the prospect of starting vacations early generates a predisposition to impulsive behavior, something that is reflected even in economic decisions and purchasing behaviors, but also in the management of personal relationships. This could also translate into a greater propensity for unilateral decisions where prior deliberation would have been necessary, talking things over to choose what to do together. Or it could even lead people in a relationship to expose themselves more to the temptation of infidelity.
2. In long-distance relationships, one begins to adapt to coexistence
Special cases such as those in a long-distance relationship experience vacations in a way that has its own characteristics.
The most important thing in situations of this type is that two people who in many cases are not used to living together for many days in a row, reach a point where they can do so by having free time … but maintaining expectations of well-being and harmony when living together which are normally the same as in a relationship not at a distance. They don’t expect to have to adapt to the challenge of living with someone they love, but usually, they must do so through deliberate efforts, which can create a feeling of unpleasant surprise and frustration.
3. If there are problems of jealousy, they are easily exacerbated
In relationships where there were already problems due to jealousy, it is very easy for the situation to get worse during the holidays. Increased exposure to leisure activities and new social circles to interact with fuels controlling or near-paranoid thoughts.
4. Possible differences in finding time to be alone
On vacation, differences stand out more by preferring more or less time to be alone. This especially affects people who are in a relationship with someone quite different from them in the personality dimension of introversion extraversion: it is much more common for introverts to prefer to spend more hours of the week alone, dedicating themselves to activities that can do on their own.
5. Managing free time together tests dialogue and negotiation skills
Even if both members of the couple have little difference in their appreciation (or not) of loneliness, it remains to be decided with the time they spend in each other’s company. Common interests (traveling, going to museums, going to environments with lots of nature, etc.), as well as negotiation and conflict resolution skills, play a role here (to prevent them from turning into struggles).
6. Incoordination with biorhythms
On the other hand, it should not be forgotten that a lack of coordination when it comes to adjusting the “internal clock” can also be a source of problems during holidays as a couple. Waking up two or three hours apart from the other person implies “giving up” for a good part of the day.
7. Expectations for the end of the cycle
Finally, we must also bear in mind that the holidays are, for many couples, a symbol or even an end-of-cycle ritual.
There are people who hope to solve their marriage or dating problems in their two weeks of vacation, and if they do not get it for whatever reason, they automatically interpret it as a failure, a sign that that relationship is doomed to fail.
Why do couple problems increase on vacation?